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Post by barb43 on Jan 12, 2022 15:35:23 GMT
Fran: Sarcasm will get you nowhere.
Stan: Well, it got me to the Sarcasm Championships last year.
Fran: Really?!
Stan: No.
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Post by barb43 on Jan 16, 2022 20:08:35 GMT
For anyone facing that storm that's heading toward the north and NE parts of the US over the next couple of days, stay safe!
Frosty: I can't believe it's the middle of January already.
Holly: Just goes to show ya' - 'Time waits for no snowman.'
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Post by barb43 on Jan 17, 2022 20:43:38 GMT
If there was a pill to cure procrastination, I'd probably take it tomorrow.
_______________________________
'Irony' is when someone writes, "Your an idiot."
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Post by barb43 on Jun 4, 2022 18:20:35 GMT
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Post by M. Hawbaker on Jun 25, 2022 11:32:28 GMT
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving.
You just need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
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Post by barb43 on Jun 25, 2022 16:49:42 GMT
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Post by M. Hawbaker on Jul 8, 2022 15:02:12 GMT
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Post by barb43 on Jul 8, 2022 17:16:07 GMT
I luv that! You bet "it's OK". Yes, I'm keeping a copy of that one!
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Post by M. Hawbaker on Aug 20, 2022 11:46:01 GMT
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Post by M. Hawbaker on Aug 27, 2022 14:51:25 GMT
Why did Beethoven get rid of all of his chickens?
Because all they said was "Bach, Bach, Bach...".
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Post by M. Hawbaker on Sept 8, 2022 22:33:03 GMT
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Post by M. Hawbaker on Sept 21, 2022 13:05:30 GMT
A teacher asked the children in her Sunday School class, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would I get into Heaven?" "NO!" the children all answered. "If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into Heaven?" Again, the answer was "NO!" "Well," she continued, "then how can I get to Heaven?" In the back of the room, a five-year-old boy shouted full-blast, "You gotta be dead!"
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Post by barb43 on Sept 21, 2022 13:28:26 GMT
Smart little boy!
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Post by barb43 on Nov 5, 2022 22:06:54 GMT
Ellie: What's the quickest way to get a child's attention?
Nellie: Sit down and look comfortable.
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Post by barb43 on Nov 7, 2022 4:55:16 GMT
A Swiss guy, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Americans are waiting.
"Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he asks. The two Americans just stare at him.
"Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?" he tries. The two continue to stare.
"Parlate Italiano?" No response.
"Hablan ustedes Espanol?" Still nothing.
The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted. The first American turns to the second and says, "Y'know, maybe we should learn a foreign language."
"Why?" says the other. "That guy knew four languages, and it didn't do him any good."
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