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Post by M. Hawbaker on Jul 20, 2023 15:50:45 GMT
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Post by barb43 on Jul 27, 2023 3:09:30 GMT
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Post by M. Hawbaker on Jul 29, 2023 11:25:38 GMT
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Post by M. Hawbaker on Aug 5, 2023 18:19:48 GMT
A man calls Pizza Hut to order a pizza... CALLER: Is this Pizza Hut? GOOGLE: No, sir, it's Google Pizza. CALLER: I must have dialed the wrong number. Sorry. GOOGLE: No, sir, Google bought Pizza Hut last month. CALLER: OK. I want to order a pizza. GOOGLE: Do you want your usual, sir? CALLER: My usual? You know me? GOOGLE: According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called, you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms, and meatballs on a thick crust. CALLER: Super! That’s what I’ll have. GOOGLE: May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes, and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust? CALLER: What? I don’t want a vegetarian pizza! GOOGLE: Your cholesterol is not good, sir. CALLER: How do you know that? GOOGLE: Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years. CALLER: Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetarian pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol. GOOGLE: Excuse me, sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you purchased only a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once at Lloyds Pharmacy 4 months ago. CALLER: I bought more from another Pharmacy. GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your credit card statement. CALLER: I paid in cash. GOOGLE: But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement. CALLER: I have other sources of cash. GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your latest tax returns unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law! CALLER: WHAT THE !!! GOOGLE: I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you. CALLER: Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, and all the others. I'm going to an island without the internet, TV, where there is no phone service and no one to watch or spy on me. GOOGLE: I understand, sir, but you must renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago...
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Post by M. Hawbaker on Aug 5, 2023 18:29:59 GMT
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Post by barb43 on Aug 6, 2023 3:08:10 GMT
CALLER: Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, and all the others. I'm going to an island without the internet, TV, where there is no phone service and no one to watch or spy on me. GOOGLE: I understand, sir, but you must renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago... You know, I do feel like this sometimes!
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Post by M. Hawbaker on Aug 12, 2023 9:05:21 GMT
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Post by barb43 on Aug 13, 2023 19:04:38 GMT
A woman is on a long flight across the United States. At one point, she stands up and yells, "Is there a doctor on board?!?"
Upon hearing this, another woman stands up on her seat and say, "I'm a doctor! What is the problem?!?"
The first woman smiles and calmly asks, "Want to meet my son?"
(She was an Emergency Matchmaker. *wink*)
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Post by barb43 on Aug 24, 2023 2:52:18 GMT
The economy is so bad, .... I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
.... CEOs are now playing miniature golf.
.... Motel 6 isn't leaving the light on any more. .... And my cousin just told me Wall Street has been re-named Wal-Mart Street!
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Post by barb43 on Sept 18, 2023 14:48:05 GMT
With thoughts of the spring ahead ...
What do you call an old snowman? . . . . . . Water.
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Post by M. Hawbaker on Sept 18, 2023 15:18:54 GMT
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Post by M. Hawbaker on Sept 25, 2023 20:47:13 GMT
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Post by barb43 on Sept 26, 2023 1:30:55 GMT
quartz in a galleon I luv it!!
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Post by M. Hawbaker on Oct 18, 2023 16:35:20 GMT
Have you ever wondered this: The Bible says that the children of Israel went into battle and defeated all their enemies! What were the grownups doing?
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Post by barb43 on Oct 18, 2023 18:30:23 GMT
Good question! Lol
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