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Post by M. Hawbaker on Mar 18, 2023 2:19:45 GMT
The part that's always believed we were Irish would delight in getting back at the part of the family who believes we are really English & have spent the last 5 years acting all snooty toward the that half who believes we are and always have been Irish. Must admit, if I were to join one part or the other, I'd be with the group who thinks we're Irish and always have been. A couple of years ago, I got one of those 23 & Me DNA test kits for Christmas. According it the results of that test, I am 0.8% Irish and 0.6% English. Sharon was always so proud of her Irish heritage. Her grandparents on her Mom's side of the family were from Ireland.
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Post by barb43 on Mar 18, 2023 3:06:53 GMT
8 tenths of one percent? Those are mighty tiny amounts - or am I understanding that 0.8% and 0.6% incorrectly?
I tend to believe the stories from the paternal side of my mother's family that they came here from Germany, and if you go back far enough, you find they were German Jews.
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Post by M. Hawbaker on Mar 18, 2023 3:43:47 GMT
8 tenths of one percent? Those are mighty tiny amounts - or am I understanding that 0.8% and 0.6% incorrectly? I tend to believe the stories from the paternal side of my mother's family that they came here from Germany, and if you go back far enough, you find they were German Jews. Yes, 8-10ths of 1% if the test is accurate. If it is, I don't know where those little bits of Irish and English come from. On my Dad's side of the family, my grandfather's family was from Switzerland, and my Grandmother's family were from Germany. On my Mom's side, my grandfather's family was from France, and my Grandmother's family were mostly German with some Native American mixed in. The DNA test mostly agrees with that German/Swiss/French/Native mix with those 4 groups making up a bit more than 95% of my DNA. It also says that I am about 1% Italian and 2% Neanderthal of all things.
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Post by M. Hawbaker on Mar 18, 2023 3:50:32 GMT
“Two lads were working for the local county council. One lad would dig a hole and the other lad would follow him and fill the hole in.
They worked up along one street and then down the other. They then moved to the next street and did the same, working flat out all day without stopping.
One lad digging the holes. The other lad filling them in.
A passerby saw what they were doing and was amazed at the hard work, but couldn’t understand what they were at.
So, he shouted over to the lad digging the holes, ‘I don’t get it – why do you dig a hole, only for the other lad to fill it in?’
The lad wiped his brow and sighed deeply, ‘Well, I suppose it probably does looks a bit odd. You see, we’re normally a three-man team. But today the lad who plants the trees phoned in sick.'”
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Post by M. Hawbaker on Mar 18, 2023 3:52:31 GMT
Q: What’s Irish and sits outside all day and night?
A: Patty O’Furniture
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Post by barb43 on Mar 18, 2023 18:03:50 GMT
The DNA test mostly agrees with that German/Swiss/French/Native mix with those 4 groups making up a bit more than 95% of my DNA. It also says that I am about 1% Italian and 2% Neanderthal of all things. Thanks for the great laugh that provided!
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Post by M. Hawbaker on Mar 18, 2023 18:43:11 GMT
The DNA test mostly agrees with that German/Swiss/French/Native mix with those 4 groups making up a bit more than 95% of my DNA. It also says that I am about 1% Italian and 2% Neanderthal of all things. Thanks for the great laugh that provided! From the report that the 23 & Me people sent me: I have to admit that their predictions re those four traits are pretty spot on.
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Post by M. Hawbaker on Mar 18, 2023 23:08:46 GMT
Q: What’s small and red and has a rough voice?
A: A hoarse raddish!
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Post by M. Hawbaker on Mar 30, 2023 14:34:39 GMT
A terminally ill man and his wife went to talk to their preacher about his passing. The man said “I worked hard all my life and earned lots of money. My final wish is to have $250,000 of it buried with me in my casket.” His wife agreed that if that’s what he wanted, she had no problem with it. After the funeral, the preacher asked his wife “Did you carry out your husband’s final wish?”The wife answered “Oh yes, and actually, I doubled it for him.” The preacher said “You put a half a million dollars cash in his casket?” She replied “Oh, of course not, silly …… I wrote him a check.”
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Post by M. Hawbaker on Apr 9, 2023 1:10:06 GMT
Why did the Easter egg hide?
He was a little chicken!
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Post by barb43 on Apr 14, 2023 23:29:51 GMT
Bryce: My date last night promised to get me back on my feet.
Bruce: How'd it go?
Bryce: She stood me up.
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Post by M. Hawbaker on Apr 22, 2023 22:57:20 GMT
Marriage Counselor: Your wife says you never buy her flowers.
Husband: To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers.
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Post by barb43 on Apr 26, 2023 16:00:23 GMT
Man answers a knock at his door.
Technician on the front porch: "Hi, I'm here from the Guitar Shop to tune your guitar."
Man, with a puzzled look: "I didn't call for someone to tune my guitar."
Technician: "I know - your neighbors called."
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Post by M. Hawbaker on May 29, 2023 2:08:02 GMT
An inexperienced preacher was to hold a graveside burial service at a pauper's cemetery for an indigent man with no family or friends.
Not knowing where the cemetery was, he made several wrong turns and got lost. When he eventually arrived an hour late, the hearse was nowhere in sight, the backhoe was next to the open hole, and the workmen were sitting under a tree eating lunch.
The diligent young pastor went to the open grave and found the vault lid already in place. Feeling guilty because of his tardiness, he preached an impassioned and lengthy service, sending the deceased to the great beyond in style.
As he returned to his car, he overheard one of the workman say to the other, "I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years and I ain't never seen anything like that."
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Post by M. Hawbaker on Jun 17, 2023 20:35:12 GMT
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